Tired

Sometimes I pray God to let me meet someone new , someone who I'm going to love more than I love him, and better this, who will love me more than he says that he does...I've been wasting years of my life stuck in a relationship that has no future. People says :"How can it be love? it is only an obsession, you created it on your own mind, it isn't real, you must let it go." But why does it hurt so bad to let go? I even think that I'm emotionally sick. I should have taken the opportunity to move on when he left me for the first time, just like his ex did, today she is married and expecting a baby. I tried once to move on, I was going fine, but I couldn't, I don't know why I just can't be with someone else. Who knows if I had allowed myself to love another one I was already engaged and moving on with life. I never thought that love could be something harmful to me, like it is.