It'd be nice to wake up next to you, in the early morning or in the dead of night. Maybe you'd wake up to your eyes on me, and I'd have to hide under the covers because I hate my discheveled hair. There are a million ways to wake up, and I could speand my whole life disconvering them all.. as long as you're there too.

"My heart stopped. It just stopped beating. And for the first time in my life, I had that feeling. You know, like the world is moving all around you, all beneath you, all inside you, and you're floating. Floating in midair. And the only thing keeping you from drifting away is the other person's eyes. They're connected to yours by some invisible physical force, and they hold you fast while the rest of the world swirls and twirls and falls completely away."
— Wendelin Van Draanen

Do you know what it's like to want something so badly, but not get it in the end? I'm sure you do. It starts out as a small feeling, something you're almost embarrassed to admit you want. Then as time passes, you think of how your life could be better if you just had that invested into that dream or ideia or person. And then comes the hardest part: the disappointment - the always wanting, but never getting.

“ But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you. I love you. With all my heart, I love you." ♥

I miss the way you told me you really loved me, but that’s what happens when a couple breaks up; the love fades, and you have to get used to not hearing, ‘I miss you,’ or ‘I love you,’ anymore. And the rest of your days are spent on trying to let go, or trying to move on. Or convincing that still hopeful heart of yours, that there isn’t a chance left in the world that you’ll both end up being together again. Then you have to face the heartache that comes with the thought of your love being with someone else, and realize your chances of ever being with them again are getting more and more thinner each day. Until one day, you finally move on...

But you know what, I still miss you sometimes.

If you are going to fall in love with me, it’s only fair that you know what you are falling in love with. You are falling in love with my insecurities. You are falling in love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, my overactive tear ducts, my tendency to be too clingy. You fall in love with my hopes and my dreams, and how I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. If you fall in love with me, you fall in love with my distrust and all my imperfections and my perception that nobody could ever love me. But, you are also falling in love with the way my eyes will smile when I’m with you, the way I’ll text you in the mornings just to tell you that I hope you have a great day.

I’m starting to realize that sometimes you have to alter your dreams and make new ones. Maybe sometimes things that we want, need, or dream have to happen in ways differently than we want it to. Maybe we’re forced to realize that because we need to remember that God has a different plan for us than we have for ourselves. Maybe there’s something or someone that’s standing right in front of us that we can’t see and it’s God’s way of telling us “Hey, look what’s in front of you.” I’ll be the first one to admit that when I’m extremely horrible at planning my day, but when it comes to my future, I get frustrated when I come to a roadblock and I have no idea where I want my life to go. And I think sometimes I get frustrated not knowing what God’s plan is for me; I hate living life not knowing what’s going to happen next or who’s going to influence my life. But I think it forces me to take two steps back and trust in His plan for me. If there’s ever been a more important lesson than “God will never let me fail,” that I’ve learned in my entire existence, I don’t know what is.

let Go...

Sometimes, in relentless efforts to find the person we love we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who love us. We miss out so many beautiful things simply because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own selfish concerns. Go for the man of deeds and not for the man of words for you will find rewarding happiness not with the man you love but the man who loves you more. The best lovers are those capable of loving from a distance far enough to allow the person to grow, but never too far to feel the love deep within your being. To let go of someone doesn’t mean you have to stop loving, It only means that you allow that person to find her own happiness without expecting her to come back. Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but it is also setting yourself free from all bitterness, hatred, and anger that you keep in your heart. Do not let the bitterness eat away your strength and weaken your faith, and never allow pain to dishearten you, but rather let yourself grow with wisdom in bearing it. You may find a peace in just loving someone from a distance not expecting anything in return. But be careful, for this can sustain life but never can give enough room for us to grow. We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past but real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is today. There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and soon becomes a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just a friendship, we start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer but in the end our efforts are still rewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves. You don’t have to forget someone you love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself. Believe me, you would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving. Don’t let your heart run your life, be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well. Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow. If you lose love that doesn’t mean that you failed in love. Cry if you have to, but make it sure that the tears wash away the hurt and bitterness that the past has left you. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you. And when it does, pray that it may be the love hat will stay and last a lifetime. There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other through everything is a miracle. There is no mistake so painful that love cannot forgive. no past so bitter that love cannot accept. And no love so little that we cannot start all over with.

 




                                                                                     

“…but then I realized I was holding on to something that didn’t exist anymore. That the person I missed didn’t exist anymore. People change. The things we like and dislike change. And we could wish all day long that they didn’t, but they always will.”

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up. It means accepting things that weren’t meant to be. There’s a point in life when you get tired of chasing everyone, trying to fix everything, but it’s not giving up. You got to do what’s right for you even if it hurts. I’ve come to realize in the end, everyone turns out to be the person they swore they’d never become.

                                

                                                     

"God doesn’t give you the people you want... instead He gives you the people you need... to teach you, to guide you, to hurt you, to love you and to make you exactly the way you should be."

Campo da Inocência

Quase

Worse than the conviction of a NO is the uncertainty of a MAYBE, it´s the disappointment of an ALMOST. It is the almost that bothers me, that makes me sad, that kills me, bringing everything that might have been and was not. Who almost won still gambles, who almost passed still studies, who almost loved did not love. Just think of the opportunities that escaped through the fingers, the chances missed for fear, the ideas that never leave the paper because of a stubborn wish to live in the autumn.

I ask myself, sometimes, what leads us to choose a dull life. The answer I know by heart, it is mirrored in the distance and coldness of the smiles, the weakness of the hugs, the indifference of the "Good Morning", almost whispered. There is much cowardice in the world, but we lack courage even to be happy. The passion burns, the love make us mad, the desire betrays. These might be good reasons to decide between happiness and pain, but they are not. If the virtue really exist in the middle term, the sea would have no waves, the days would be cloudy and the rainbow in shades of grey. The "nothingness" does not bring the light, does not inspire us, does not bring the excite or the calm, it simply amplifies the emptiness that each of us carries inside.

It is not because the faith moves mountains, or all the stars are within reach, but for the things that cannot be changed, the only thing that we have is the patience. However, to prefer an anticipated defeat to the doubt of the victory is a way to waste the opportunity to deserve. For mistakes, there is forgiveness; for failures, possibilities; for impossible love, time. There is no sense in surround an empty heart or economize the soul. A romance with an immediate or painless end is not a romance. Do not let the lack suffocate you, the routine accommodate, fear make you stop trying. You have to suspect the destination and believe more in yourself.

Spend more hours realizing than dreaming...

Doing than planning...

Living than waiting...

Because, although who almost died is still alive, who almost lives is already dead.

Fernando Veríssimo

Love

"You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect - you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there."
— Bob Marley

Apesar de todas as minhas fraquezas eu ainda desejo o que é mais difícil de conseguir. Difícil mas não impossível.

Half

That the Strength of My Fear
does Not Stop Me from Seeing What I Desire
That the Death of Everything I Believe In
does Not Cover my Ears and Mouth
because Half of Me Is What I Shout
but the Other Half Is Silence.

That the Music I Hear from Far Away
be Beautiful Regardless of Its Sadness
That the Man I Love Be Forever Loved
even If Distant
because Half of Me is Departure
but the Other Half is What I Miss (Saudade!).

That the Words I Speak
be Not Heard as Prayers nor Repeated with Fervor
just Respected as the Only Thing
there is Left to a Girl Inundated with Feelings
because Half of Me is What I Listen To
but the Other Half Is What I Silence

That this Desire of Mine to Leave
transforms Itself into the Calm and Peace that I Deserve
That this Tension which Gnaws Me Slowly Inside
be Someday Rewarded
because Half of Me Is What I Think
and the Other Half Is a Volcano.

That the Fear of Loneliness Go Away
And that my Living-With-Myself Becomes at least Tolerable
That the Mirror Reflects in my Face a Sweet Smile
which I Remember Giving in my Childhood
because Half of Me Is the Memory of What I Was
and the Other Half I Do Not Know

That No More Than a Simple Joy Be Needed
to Make Me Quiet Down my Spirit
and That Your Silence Tells Me Ever More Each Time
because Half of Me Is Shelter
but the Other Half is Tiredness

That Art Points Us to an Answer
even If It Does Not Know It
And That Nobody Tries to Make It Complicated
because Simplicity Is Needed to Make It Flourish
because Half of Me Is Audience
and the Other Half Is Song

And That my Craziness Be Forgiven
because Half of Me Is L.O.V.E
and the Other Half Too...

"Metade - (Half) *

Life...

I’m starting to realize that sometimes you have to alter your dreams and make new ones. Maybe sometimes things that we want, need, or dream have to happen in ways differently than we want it to. Maybe we’re forced to realize that because we need to remember that God has a different plan for us than we have for ourselves. Maybe there’s something or someone that’s standing right in front of us that we can’t see and it’s God’s way of telling us “Hey, look what’s in front of you.” I’ll be the first one to admit that when I’m extremely horrible at planning my day, but when it comes to my future, I get frustrated when I come to a roadblock and I have no idea where I want my life to go. And I think sometimes I get frustrated not knowing what God’s plan is for me; I hate living life not knowing what’s going to happen next or who’s going to influence my life. But I think it forces me to take two steps back and trust in His plan for me. If there’s ever been a more important lesson than “God will never let me fail,” that I’ve learned in my entire existence, I don’t know what is.