Worse than the conviction of a NO is the uncertainty of a MAYBE, it´s the disappointment of an ALMOST. It is the almost that bothers me, that makes me sad, that kills me, bringing everything that might have been and was not. Who almost won still gambles, who almost passed still studies, who almost loved did not love. Just think of the opportunities that escaped through the fingers, the chances missed for fear, the ideas that never leave the paper because of a stubborn wish to live in the autumn.
I ask myself, sometimes, what leads us to choose a dull life. The answer I know by heart, it is mirrored in the distance and coldness of the smiles, the weakness of the hugs, the indifference of the "Good Morning", almost whispered. There is much cowardice in the world, but we lack courage even to be happy. The passion burns, the love make us mad, the desire betrays. These might be good reasons to decide between happiness and pain, but they are not. If the virtue really exist in the middle term, the sea would have no waves, the days would be cloudy and the rainbow in shades of grey. The "nothingness" does not bring the light, does not inspire us, does not bring the excite or the calm, it simply amplifies the emptiness that each of us carries inside.
It is not because the faith moves mountains, or all the stars are within reach, but for the things that cannot be changed, the only thing that we have is the patience. However, to prefer an anticipated defeat to the doubt of the victory is a way to waste the opportunity to deserve. For mistakes, there is forgiveness; for failures, possibilities; for impossible love, time. There is no sense in surround an empty heart or economize the soul. A romance with an immediate or painless end is not a romance. Do not let the lack suffocate you, the routine accommodate, fear make you stop trying. You have to suspect the destination and believe more in yourself.
Spend more hours realizing than dreaming...
Doing than planning...
Living than waiting...
Because, although who almost died is still alive, who almost lives is already dead.
Fernando Veríssimo
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