Beloved "Habibi Boy"

I've been thinking of...You said you hate dreaming and you just don't want to dream anymore, you just can't go on dreaming anymore...But nobody lives without a dream, those who don't dream are empty inside, without a soul... they don't do more than just breathing, more than just existing for no reason at all. If God has allowed us to dream about something it means that we are able to make it true. I don't know how you do it but I just can't accept that it ends like this, I could convince myself that is better to let you go and stay in my country until I find someone here who can make a life with me, someone who will never replace your place in my heart but someone who will give me what you can't. We are humans and we all love for some reason, one of these reasons is that we can't be alone, we need each other to survive, to make life worth living. But I feel my life will never be complete if I didn't share it with you by my side. Could you really forget me and love someone else? loving someone else just because she is closer to you? because you can kiss her, and be in her embrace? Can you really replace me after all we had, after this strong feeling of love that exist between us? Can you erase it? How could you do it? I want to be happy too, with you or without you, but deep inside my heart I know that I can't pretend that it's ok without you, there are a lot of men in the world but it isn't going to be the same thing and it will never be. At least once in my life I should meet you face to face before I leave.

Sometimes I think you are right and we should forget this dream, we can make a new one with somebody else. Tell my heart that it is the right thing to do, tell my heart that I will not regret, tell my heart that there is something better to come... but I can't have a life ahead knowing that I left something behind undone.

Kill a dream is to kill myself. I'll always be missing something, something I never had but I should.


What are your dreams after all?
Is this your new way of living "Let life take us to its way"
"let life get in the way"
Even if this way will never make you fully happy?
Never be content with so little when you know life has much more to offer you and that God has made you perfectly able to follow your dreams for a happy life.

How could we live with a doubt forever in our minds, torturing our souls of how it would be if we had at least one chance of being together?
While we are alive, we still can make this chance. And you say you can't wait to make it... You've been waiting too long, and to each day that goes by this feeling is suffocating you more and more.. and you just feel that you can't keep loving me anymore because you can't have me, you can't touch me, it is killing you inside...I know how you feel about it..the worst feeling in the world is when you know that you both love each other but still you just can't be together. For you it is like trying to reach a star in the sky knowing that your arms are too short to catch it, for you it is like wishing for something that isn't real. It hurts. But I'm possible, I'm real and I love you.

All I wanted to say is: Don't give up on me!
I do not know how to quit you, I just can't give up my dreams.