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How to see a woman: A conversation between a father and son

Someday I am going to have to have the conversation with my son. No, not the conversation all parents dread giving and all kids are mortified having. I enjoy making people uncomfortable, so that conversation should be fun.

No, I’m talking about another conversation. The one that happens after I catch his eye doing what male eyes do well — following an object of lust. We will probably be out at the mall, because that’s what dads do with their sons, and I’ll catch the look. Maybe we’ll go to the beach and see it. Doesn’t matter where it is. There will come a time when I will see it. And then it will be time for this conversation.

Hey, come here. Let me talk to you. I saw you look at her. I’m not judging you or shaming you. I know why you did. I get it. But we have to talk about it because how you look at a woman matters.

A lot of people will try and tell you that a woman should watch how she dresses so she doesn’t tempt you to look at her wrongly. Here is what I will tell you. It is a woman’s responsibility to dress herself in the morning. It is your responsibility to look at her like a human being regardless of what she is wearing. You will feel the temptation to blame her for your wandering eyes because of what she is wearing — or not wearing. But don’t. Don’t play the victim. You are not a helpless victim when it comes to your eyes. You have full control over them. Exercise that control. Train them to look her in the eyes. Discipline yourself to see her, not her clothes or her body. The moment you play the victim, you fall into the lie that you are simply embodied reaction to external stimuli unable to determine right from wrong, human from flesh.


Look right at me. That is a ridiculous lie.

You are more than that. And the woman you are looking at is more than her clothes. She is more than her body. There is a lot of talk about how men objectify women, and largely, it is true. Humans objectify the things they love in effort to control them. If you truly love a person, do not reduce them to an object. The moment you objectify another human — woman or man — you give up your humanity.

There are two views regarding a woman’s dress code that you will be pressured to buy into. One view will say that women need to dress to get the attention of men. The other view will say women need to dress to protect men from themselves. Son, you are better than both of these. A woman, or any human being, should not have to dress to get your attention. You should give them the full attention they deserve simply because they are a fellow human being. On the other side, a woman should not have to feel like she needs to protect you from you. You need to be in control of you.

Unfortunately, much of how the sexes interact with each is rooted in fear. Fear of rejection, fear of abuse, fear of being out of control. In some ways, the church has added to this. We fear each other because we have been taught the other is dangerous. We’ve been a taught a woman’s body will cause men to sin. We’re told that if a woman shows too much of her body men will do stupid things. Let’s be clear: A woman’s body is not dangerous to you. Her body will not cause you harm. It will not make you do stupid things. If you do stupid things, it is because you chose to do stupid things. So don’t contribute to the fear that exists between men and women.

A woman’s body is beautiful and wonderful and mysterious. Respect it by respecting her as an individual with hopes and dreams and experiences and emotions and longings. Let her be confident. Encourage her confidence. But don’t do all this because she is weaker. That’s the biggest bunch of crap out there. Women are not weaker than men. They are not the weaker sex. They are the other sex.
I’m not telling you to not look at women. Just the opposite. I’m telling you to see women. Really see them. Not just with your eyes but with your heart. Don’t look to see something that tickles your senses, but see a human being.

My hope is that changing how you see women will change how you are around them. Don’t just be around women. Be with women.

Because in the end, they want to be with you. Without fear of being judged, or shamed, or condemned, or objectified or being treated as other. And that’s not just what women want. That’s what people want.

Ultimately, it’s what you want.

Deseret News

You threw her away

You threw her away. You threw away the girl that would do anything and everything for you. You threw away the girl that gave her all and trusted you with it. You threw away the girl that put her whole self into being there for you. You threw away the girl that shut every other person out in her life because she told herself she couldn’t trust them. You threw away the girl that sees the entire world in you. You threw away the girl that went through hell just to be with you. You threw away the girl that was willing to wait as long as it took until she could call you hers. You threw away that girl that still wanted you even when you treated her as if she was nothing. You threw away the girl that spent months hoping you two could be together eventually. You threw away the girl that stays up at night, wondering if you’re okay. You threw away the girl that continued to do so much for you even though she got nothing in return. You threw away the girl that didn’t listen to the bad things that others said about you. You threw away the girl that would do anything in the world for you. You threw her away. And guess what? You lost her.

Tired

Sometimes I pray God to let me meet someone new , someone who I'm going to love more than I love him, and better this, who will love me more than he says that he does...I've been wasting years of my life stuck in a relationship that has no future. People says :"How can it be love? it is only an obsession, you created it on your own mind, it isn't real, you must let it go." But why does it hurt so bad to let go? I even think that I'm emotionally sick. I should have taken the opportunity to move on when he left me for the first time, just like his ex did, today she is married and expecting a baby. I tried once to move on, I was going fine, but I couldn't, I don't know why I just can't be with someone else. Who knows if I had allowed myself to love another one I was already engaged and moving on with life. I never thought that love could be something harmful to me, like it is.

" I want you. I want your sleepy confused look when you wake up. I want to be the warmth that fills the space in your bed. I want to be the sheets your fingers crave at night; the blanket that wraps around you all night. I want to drink tea with you, share some records we find. I want to talk about everything in the world newspapers. I want to discuss with you, to be stubborn and quick-witted with you. I want to have differences between us. I want your flaws. All of them. I want go into the deepest corners of your mind and never get bored of you. I want to be surprised by the new all the time. I want to look at you like a movie, a living piece of art; always trying to chase what you crave … and capture you. "

Make a Wish ;)

In Love With a Taurus Man

A typical Taurus man comes across as a very calm, quiet, practical, composed, humble as well as levelheaded person. He takes one step at a time, that too after much deliberation. He is not the one who 'falls in the love at the first sight'. A Taurus male will take time to decide whether you are the person with whom he can spend his entire life. However, if he makes up his mind that you are the one for him, he will go to any lengths to win your love. These efforts include being romantic to the core, sending you flowers, writing poems for you, etc.

Taurean men are always protective of their loved ones and will be very gentle and pleasant towards them. When in love, they are very romantic and will express the same with small little gestures. You may be given flowers every other day, taken to the most romantic place in the town and wished on all the important days of your life, like the first time you met him. If you want to stir the emotions of a Taurus male, the best way is to play some soothing, romantic songs. Building castles in the air is not one of the traits of a Taurus guy's personality.

He won't promise you the stars, but he will gift you the diamond necklace you saw in the jewelry shop two days back. With him, you will never feel insecure about the future. His characteristics profile includes qualities like calm strength, stable nature and peaceful ways, all of which are sure to win your heart. A Taurus man does not believe in taking chances and will always be prepared for the worst of circumstances. If you want to attract him, it is better to start brushing up your lady charms right now.

He doesn't want a tomboyish wife. You will be expected to behave like a lady. When you are in a public place, let your Taurean male be the brighter one of the two. Don't misunderstand him. He respects your intelligence, but don't make him feel embarrassed by contradicting his statements in public. If you make this mistake, remember to say sorry afterwards or you are doomed. Never ever try to push him or you will have to face his violent temper. In case you just did that, remain with him and try to calm him. z

Don't even think of going to your mom's flat for the weekend. You are his wife, he loves you and you have to live with him. A Taurus guy will also not tolerate outsiders interfering in his house, be it your mother or anyone else. He wants a girl who is close to him, but is not clinging on to him forever. He wants his freedom and will let you enjoy your freedom too. You will be allowed to indulge in all you feminine fashions. Infact, a Taurean man will enjoy watching you do the typical feminine stuff, that too with patience.

However, remember that he is the boss of the house and come back to him when he asks you to. If you do this, you will be treated with the most pleasant and agreeable husband on this earth. Just let him handle the reins and he will do anything and everything for you. Don't expect him to announce his love ten days after meeting you. Taurean men take time to truly comprehend their emotions, but when they do, they make sure that they get their love. Love blindfolds them and they become generous to all the flaws of the relationship.

A Taurean male loves nature and its beauty. When he settles down, he wants crisp bread, sparkling cutlery and perfectly baked apple pie. Don't expect him to eat that burnt sandwich, without saying anything. As a father, he will be tender, demonstrative, warm and understanding. A Taurus man is extremely hard working and thus, needs to rest every now and then. Don't ever push him or accuse him of being lazy when he is walking at his own leisurely pace. If you are thinking of getting married to him, develop the habit of keeping the house clean and warm.

He wants his home to look like a home, not a garbage dump. Don't worry; he won't be criticizing you all the time. Infact, most of the time, he will be generous to even those faults on which other males complain. Just remember to make a Taurus man feel like the head of the family and let him handle all the responsibilities. He will provide you a cozy nest, which will be full of love, warmth, care and concern. He is stubborn, but only when you provoke him. Otherwise, he is the most patient man you will ever find. Be happy. You have a real man besides you, who will wrap his arms around you, protect you & love you forever!

Death is Nothing

I have just moved to the neighboring room.
I am who I am ... you are whom you are,
That which we were to one another,
We will always be.
Call me by my name.
Speak to me like you've always did.
Don't use a different tone ...
Don't take that look; solemn or sad.
Continue to laugh at that which made us laugh together.
Pray, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be pronounced at home,
As it always was,
Without pomposity or gloom.
Life is still the same,
It is what it always was
The string has not been cut.
Why should I be away from your thoughts?
Just because I am away from your sight?
I am not far, just on the other side of the road..
You see, every thing is fine ...
Wipe your tears and cry no more.

If you love me ...

A morte não é nada.
Eu somente passei
para o outro lado do Caminho.

Eu sou eu, vocês são vocês.
O que eu era para vocês,
eu continuarei sendo.

Me dêem o nome
que vocês sempre me deram,
falem comigo
como vocês sempre fizeram.

Vocês continuam vivendo
no mundo das criaturas,
eu estou vivendo
no mundo do Criador.

Não utilizem um tom solene
ou triste, continuem a rir
daquilo que nos fazia rir juntos.

Rezem, sorriam, pensem em mim.
Rezem por mim.

Que meu nome seja pronunciado
como sempre foi,
sem ênfase de nenhum tipo.
Sem nenhum traço de sombra
ou tristeza.

A vida significa tudo
o que ela sempre significou,
o fio não foi cortado.
Porque eu estaria fora
de seus pensamentos,
agora que estou apenas fora
de suas vistas?

Eu não estou longe,
apenas estou
do outro lado do Caminho...

Você que aí ficou, siga em frente,
a vida continua, linda e bela
como sempre foi.

by St. Augustine

Strange ways of Love....

How many times have we got confused about love or no-love? How many times have we got confused by the confusing signals being sent across by the other person? Isn't it quite strange that we take so much time to figure out a simple relationship! ( Or is it actually a pretty complicated relationship? ). So that's pretty strange, isn't it? That we may be in love, but may not be knowing that we are. And we may NOT be in love but may be thinking that we actually are!! :)

They say, "Don't fall in Love. Rise in Love!". So that's where I start wondering..... Does 'Love' brings prosperity and happiness, or does it spell doom for the person? Standard philosophical response would be of course that something as pure and pious as 'Love', can do no harm. But then do we not notice numerous of lives getting spoiled by this same "Love"? Doesn't it waste hell lot of time of those love-struck couples? Or is it like that every relationship demands time? And of course, in many cases we even notice people committing suicides!! So is it 'Love' which is playing devil here, or is it that people themselves are devilish!! Strange ways...... :)

Not having a wild side can be quite a bit of disadvantage for guys. There are umpteen articles lying around which concludes that girls find themselves attracted to bad guys. And this is not a matter of articles alone, this could be easily experienced by us. Haven't we noticed the most beautiful girls of our class taken away by the most notorious, mischievous boy? And it has logic too.

So point is, the nice guys-those with nothing wild and unconventional to show off- are put off on back foot. They are most of the times, on a disadvantageous ground. Even though they might have much better qualities than the other set of guys, they always fail to get a nice girl. Why? Because the nice girls are always lured to the bad boys!! That's really strange, isn't it? But then, that's the way things mostly happen around :) 

Is love all the same in every cases, or is it different in different type of relationships? It is always so puzzling. The love of a mother for her child, the love of two friends, the love of love-struck couples.... are they all the same, or they are completely different? The obvious response seems to be that they are distinctly different, but wait! Some people also opin that love has the same basic threads everywhere. After all, don't you expect a clear commonality between all of them? Care, affection, empathy..... the most basic but important ingredients of Love, don't they bring a clear, distinctive, quite an intrinsic kind of similarity?? So much that we can say that "Its all the same in all cases"? Confusing, isn't it? :)


Random Thoughts

Maktub

MAKTUB Significa: Já estava escrito, ou escrito nas estrelas, em árabe.

Nada em nossa vida e existência são meras ou simplesmente coincidências. Tudo tem um fundamento por trás de cada acontecimento, do mais simples ao mais complexo. Quando desejamos algo puro, do fundo de nossas almas, o universo estaria lá, conspirando e atraindo tudo para que o nosso sucesso fosse inevitável. Acredito que tudo está escrito e que apesar do livre arbítrio, sempre chegamos ao encontro do que nos foi destinado...

O universo sempre conspira a nosso favor e muitas vezes nós mesmos conspiramos contra nós mesmos e não nos damos conta disso. Cabe a nós mesmos tornar o caminho mais rápido ou mais trabalhoso para nossa alma, decidindo se queremos ou não buscar o conhecimento necessário para o desenvolvimento de nosso espírito.

Sim, todos nós criamos a nossa realidade.Isso cabe não ao nosso eu egoísta, ou ego, mais sim a nossa verdadeira expressão da alma. Essa verdadeira expressão nada mais é do que as experiências que tomamos posse emocionalmente.E ai se encontra o grande paradoxo da existência.Se continuarmos a experimentar a mesma emoção e nunca a aposentarmos, tornado-a sabedoria, não evoluiremos. Nós voltaremos ao mundo quantas vezes for preciso para desenvolver a experiência da sabedoria universal, que emerge do campo unificado, ou a consciência divina, essencial e subjacente de inteligência, pois a consciência é o material fundamental do universo.Um grande passo no nosso caminho é aceitar a lei universal de que tudo que plantarmos, colheremos um dia (Karma).Tudo tem seu significado para o nosso aprendizado, pois Deus sempre nos guiará ao caminho da iluminação, independentemente de credo, cor ou classe social. Isso está escrito no universo.Porém, o alicerce de tudo ainda sim continua sendo a fé de cada um.

É razoável que a irritação, a dor nos mobilizem para a mudança.Emoções felizes, prazerosas não são irritantes. As outras é que são reprimidas, toleradas ou transformadas em sabedoria.

Você é produto de suas limitações (isso sempre será a sua realidade), porém você podesempre modificar a realidade conscientemente através da observação crítica. A mudança decorre disso.E quando a mudança ocorre, você expande sua realidade.Você modifica o paradigma de sua existência, ou seja, sua maneira de ver o mundo.A consciência e a energia criam a natureza da realidade, por isso a coisa mais importante na vida é a atitude. A atitude é tudo.

Um bom passo é aceitar a responsabilidade por isso, não viver a vida se vitimizando.Por traz da atitude existe a intenção. A intenção, criada através do desejo, tem que ser puramente sincera, uniforme e conhecida, para que se torne coerente com a sua ação. Para que a intenção funcione, é necessário fundamentalmente o foco. Porém, só poderá obter isso através do conhecimento. O conhecimento é o maior motivador para a mudança e o crescimento espiritual. A maior busca da humanidade sempre foi e sempre será pelo conhecimento, que se esconde por trás da busca da segurança.

E a segurança segue o objetivo final da evolução humana, que é encontrar prazer e evitar a dor.Acontece que muitas vezes a busca da segurança é confundida e influenciada pela busca do poder.

Onde o amor impera, não há desejo de poder; e onde o poder predomina, há falta de amor. Um é a sombra do outro.(Carl Jung)

Jung se refere ao poder autoritário, ganancioso, que tiraniza as pessoas e as enfraquece, que surge para o medo e a insegurança.

Porém o verdadeiro poder e prazer vêm do amor, aquele que exerce influência suprema, o mesmo poder que Gandhi, Jesus Cristo e Buda tiveram, e ainda tem, até os dias de hoje, pois isso sempre será a expressão da sabedoria divina.

Você poderá viver sempre preso ao “porão da humanidade” que se resume ao sexo, sobrevivência e poder, ou poderá escolher se abrir a experiência mística, aquela na qual o seu espírito poderá encontrar a iluminação.Toda atitude humana sempre será movida por 2 grandes sentimentos: o amor e o medo. Sem exceção. A escolha é sua.

Kalil

Under Your Spell

I don't eat
I don't sleep
I do nothing but think of you
You keep me under your spell
You keep me under your spell...

Hey! 
- Yeah?
I was wondering
Do you know the difference between love and obsession?
- No.
And what's the difference between obsession and desire?
- I don't know.
Do you think this feeling can last forever?
- You mean like forever ever? forever ever? forever ever? forever ever? Sure.
God, i hope so.
- Me too. 

♥

The Meaning of Brazilian Portuguese word "Saudade"

Saudade is a Portuguese and Galician word for a feeling of longing for something that one is fond of, which is gone, but might return in the distant future. It often carries a fatalistic tone implying a repressed knowledge that the object of longing might really never return.

In 2004, 'saudade' was considered, according to an English researcher,nthe seventh hardest expression in the world to translate. Also, in 2007 the word was determined by a German investigation[3] to be the sixth most beautiful word in the world.

Concept

In his book In Portugal (1912), A.F.G Bell writes:

The famous 'saudade' of the Portuguese is a vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist, for something other than the present, a turning towards the past or towards the future; not an active discontent or poignant sadness but an indolent dreaming wistfulness.[4]

'Saudade' is often translated into English as nostalgia, but it is a more intense feeling. In an interview about his 1990 album The Good Son, Nick Cave characterized in this way the feeling that stressed his new work:

When I explained to someone that what I wanted to write about was the memory of things that I thought were lost for me, I was told that the Portuguese word for this feeling was 'saudade'. It's not nostalgia but something sadder.

Nostalgia implies mixed feelings, a memory of happiness but a sadness for its impossible return and sole existence in the past. 'Saudade' is like nostalgia but with the hope that what is being longed for might return, even if that return is unlikely or so distant in the future to be almost of no consequence to the present. One might make a strong analogy with nostalgia as a feeling one has for a loved one who has died and 'saudade' as a feeling one has for a loved one who has disappeared or is simply currently absent. Nostalgia is located in the past and is somewhat conformist while 'saudade' is very present, anguishing, anxious and extends into the future.

For instance, the phrases "Tenho saudades tuas" (literally, "I have 'saudade' for you") and "Eu sinto a tua falta" ("I feel your absence") would each be translated into English as "I miss you" — both "falta" and "saudade" being translated as "missing." However, these two statements carry very different sentiments in Portuguese. The first sentence is never told to anyone personally, but the second can be. The first would be said by a person whose lover has been abroad for sometime, it would be said over the phone or written in a letter. The second would be said by someone who has divorced, or whose partner is not usually at home, and would be said personally.

One of the best descriptions of the word 'saudade' was made by Chico Buarque de Hollanda on his song Pedaço de mim, when he says. "saudade é arrumar o quarto do filho que já morreu." which roughly translates to "saudade is to tidy the bedroom of a son who has already died."

They made us believe

They made us believe that real love, the one that’s strong, only happens once, more likely before your 30ths.

They never told us that love is not something that you can put in motion, neither has time schedule.

They made us believe that each one of us is the half of an orange, and that life only makes sense when u find that other half.

They did not tell us that we were born as whole, and that no-one in our lives deserve to carry on his back such responsibility of completing what is missing on us: we grow through life by ourselves. If we have a good company it’s just more pleasant.

They made us believe in a formula “two in one”: two people sharing the same line of thinking, same ideas, and that it is what works.

It’s never been told that it has another name: invalidation, that only two individuals with their own personality is how you can have a healthy relationship. It has been made to believe that marriage is an obliged institution and that fantasies out of hour should be repressed.

They made us believe that the thin and beautiful are the ones who is more loved, that the ones that have little sex are boring, and the ones that has a lot of it are not trustful, and that will always have a old shoes to a crooked foot; what they forgot to tell us is that there are more crooked minds than feet.

They made us believe that there’s one way formula to be happy, the same one to everybody, and the ones that escape from that are condemned to be delinquents.

We have never been told that those formulas go wrong, they get people frustrated, they are alienating, and that we can try other alternatives.

Oh! Also they did not tell us that no one will tell those things to us. Each and everyone of us will have to learn by ourselves.

And, when we get to the point that you are in love with yourself first, that’s when you can fall in love with somebody.

- John Lennon

Anton Chekhov on the 8 Qualities of Cultured People

MOSCOW, 1886.

… You have often complained to me that people “don’t understand you”! Goethe and Newton did not complain of that…. Only Christ complained of it, but He was speaking of His doctrine and not of Himself…. People understand you perfectly well. And if you do not understand yourself, it is not their fault.

I assure you as a brother and as a friend I understand you and feel for you with all my heart. I know your good qualities as I know my five fingers; I value and deeply respect them. If you like, to prove that I understand you, I can enumerate those qualities. I think you are kind to the point of softness, magnanimous, unselfish, ready to share your last farthing; you have no envy nor hatred; you are simple-hearted, you pity men and beasts; you are trustful, without spite or guile, and do not remember evil…. You have a gift from above such as other people have not: you have talent. This talent places you above millions of men, for on earth only one out of two millions is an artist. Your talent sets you apart: if you were a toad or a tarantula, even then, people would respect you, for to talent all things are forgiven.

You have only one failing, and the falseness of your position, and your unhappiness and your catarrh of the bowels are all due to it. That is your utter lack of culture. Forgive me, please, but veritas magis amicitiae…. You see, life has its conditions. In order to feel comfortable among educated people, to be at home and happy with them, one must be cultured to a certain extent. Talent has brought you into such a circle, you belong to it, but … you are drawn away from it, and you vacillate between cultured people and the lodgers vis-a-vis.

Cultured people must, in my opinion, satisfy the following conditions:

1.They respect human personality, and therefore they are always kind, gentle, polite, and ready to give in to others. They do not make a row because of a hammer or a lost piece of india-rubber; if they live with anyone they do not regard it as a favour and, going away, they do not say “nobody can live with you.” They forgive noise and cold and dried-up meat and witticisms and the presence of strangers in their homes.

2.They have sympathy not for beggars and cats alone. Their heart aches for what the eye does not see….
They sit up at night in order to help P…., to pay for brothers at the University, and to buy clothes for their mother.

3.They respect the property of others, and therefor pay their debts.

4.They are sincere, and dread lying like fire. They don’t lie even in small things. A lie is insulting to the listener and puts him in a lower position in the eyes of the speaker. They do not pose, they behave in the street as they do at home, they do not show off before their humbler comrades. They are not given to babbling and forcing their uninvited confidences on others. Out of respect for other people’s ears they more often keep silent than talk.

5.They do not disparage themselves to rouse compassion. They do not play on the strings of other people’s hearts so that they may sigh and make much of them. They do not say “I am misunderstood,” or “I have become second-rate,” because all this is striving after cheap effect, is vulgar, stale, false….

6.They have no shallow vanity. They do not care for such false diamonds as knowing celebrities, shaking hands with the drunken P., [Translator's Note: Probably Palmin, a minor poet.] listening to the raptures of a stray spectator in a picture show, being renowned in the taverns…. If they do a pennyworth they do not strut about as though they had done a hundred roubles’ worth, and do not brag of having the entry where others are not admitted…. The truly talented always keep in obscurity among the crowd, as far as possible from advertisement…. Even Krylov has said that an empty barrel echoes more loudly than a full one.

7.If they have a talent they respect it. They sacrifice to it rest, women, wine, vanity…. They are proud of their talent…. Besides, they are fastidious.

8.They develop the aesthetic feeling in themselves. They cannot go to sleep in their clothes, see cracks full of bugs on the walls, breathe bad air, walk on a floor that has been spat upon, cook their meals over an oil stove. They seek as far as possible to restrain and ennoble the sexual instinct…. What they want in a woman is not a bed-fellow … They do not ask for the cleverness which shows itself in continual lying. They want especially, if they are artists, freshness, elegance, humanity, the capacity for motherhood…. They do not swill vodka at all hours of the day and night, do not sniff at cupboards, for they are not pigs and know they are not. They drink only when they are free, on occasion…. For they want mens sana in corpore sano [a healthy mind in a healthy body].
And so on. This is what cultured people are like. In order to be cultured and not to stand below the level of your surroundings it is not enough to have read “The Pickwick Papers” and learnt a monologue from “Faust.” …

What is needed is constant work, day and night, constant reading, study, will…. Every hour is precious for it…. Come to us, smash the vodka bottle, lie down and read…. Turgenev, if you like, whom you have not read.

You must drop your vanity, you are not a child … you will soon be thirty.

It is time!

I expect you…. We all expect you.

Chekhov and  family

Does anybody know where is it?

10 signs that say “It’s time to let go”

Here are some signs that might indicate that’s time to let go of a relationship:

1.    Someone expects you to be someone you’re not. – Don’t change who you are for anyone else.  It’s wiser to lose someone over being who you are, than to keep them by being someone you’re not.  Because it’s easier to mend a broken heart, than it is to piece together a shattered identity.  It’s easier to fill an empty space in your life where someone else used to be, than it is to fill the empty space inside yourself where YOU used to be.

2.    A person’s actions don’t match their words. – Everybody deserves somebody who helps them look forward to tomorrow.  If someone has the opposite effect on you, because they are consistently inconsistent and their actions don’t match up with their words, it’s time to let them go.  It’s always better to be alone than to be in bad company.  True friendship is a promise made in the heart – silent, unwritten, unbreakable by distance, and unchangeable by time.  Don’t listen to what people say; watch what they do.  Your true friends will slowly reveal themselves over time.

3.    You catch yourself forcing someone to love you. – Let us keep in mind that we can’t force anyone to love us.  We shouldn’t beg someone to stay when they want to leave.  That’s what love is all about – freedom.  However, the end of love is not the end of life.  It should be the beginning of an understanding that love sometimes leaves for a reason, but never leaves without a lesson.  If someone truly loves you, they will never give you a reason to doubt it.  Anyone can come into your life and say how much they love you, but it takes someone really special to stay in your life and prove how much they love you.  Sometimes it takes awhile to find the right person, but the right person is always worth the wait. 

4.    An intimate relationship is based strictly on physical attraction. – Being beautiful is more than how many people you can get to look at you, or how others perceive you at a single glance.  It’s about what you live for.  It’s about what defines you.  It’s about the depth of your heart, and what makes you unique.  It’s about being who you are and living out your life honestly.  It’s about those little quirks that make you, you.  People who are only attracted to you because of your pretty face or nice body won’t stay by your side forever.  But the people who can see how beautiful your heart is will never leave you.

5.    Someone continuously breaks your trust. – Love means giving someone the chance to hurt you, but trusting them not to.  When you completely trust a person, without any doubt, you’ll automatically get one of two results - a FRIEND for life or a LESSON for life.  Either way there’s a positive outcome.  Either you confirm the fact that this person cares about you, or you get the opportunity to weed them out of your life and make room for those who do.  In the end you’ll discover who’s fake, who’s true, and who would risk it all for you.  And trust me, some people will totally surprise you.

6.    Someone continuously overlooks your worth. – Know your worth! When you give yourself to someone who doesn’t respect you, you surrender pieces of your soul that you’ll never get back.  There comes a point when you have to let go and stop chasing some people.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll find a way to put you there.  Sometimes you just need to let go and accept the fact that they don’t care for you the way you care for them.  Let them leave your life quietly.  Letting go is oftentimes easier than holding on.  We think it’s too hard to let go, until we actually do.  Then we ask ourselves, “Why didn’t I do this sooner?”

7.    You are never given a chance to speak your mind. – Sometimes an argument saves a relationship, whereas silence breaks it.  Speak up for your heart so that you won’t have regrets.  Life is not about making others happy.  Life is about being honest and sharing your happiness with others.

8.    You are frequently forced to sacrifice your happiness. – If you allow people to make more withdrawals than deposits in your life, you will be out of balance and in the negative before you know it.  Know when to close the account.  It’s always better to be alone with dignity than in a relationship that constantly requires you to sacrifice your happiness and self-respect. 

9.    You truly dislike your current situation, routine, job, etc. – It’s better to be a failure at something you love than to succeed at doing something you hate.  Don’t let someone who gave up on their dreams talk you out of going after yours.  The best thing you can do in life is follow your heart.  Take risks.  Don’t just make the safe and easy choices because you’re afraid of what might happen.  If you do, nothing will ever happen.  Chances must be taken, mistakes must be made, and lessons must be learned.  It might be an uphill climb, but when you reach that mountaintop it will be worth every ounce of blood, sweat and tears you put into it.

10. You catch yourself obsessing over, and living in, the past. – Eventually you will overcome the heartache, and forget the reasons you cried, and who caused the pain.  Eventually you will realize that the secret to happiness and freedom is not about control or revenge, but in letting things unfold naturally, and learning from your experiences over the course of time.  After all, what matters most is not the first, but the final chapter of your life, which unveils the details of how well you wrote your story.  So let go of the past, set yourself free, and open your mind to the possibility of new relationships and priceless experiences.

Source: http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/04/02/10-signs-its-time-to-let-go/

...

Foolish Heart

It was the third time I trusted you, forgave you and you simply broke my heart once again. I should have known better, foolish heart.

I finally understood what it fells like to watch the love of your life choose someone else over you, to not wake up to them every morning or to fall asleep in their arms at night. It's like getting hit by a bus and it completely shatters every bone in your body. It's like being in a hot, blazing desert for days and not having anything to drink...it's like slowly watching your life being taken from you - a slow, painful death that you actually wish you were dead. Not being able to have you feels like - death.

it  really hurts me badly to see you with someone else.

it also hurts to know that while she is there to entertain you with her sweet words of love, her kisses and hugs, you will not even remember that I exist...will not even to miss me. I wonder if at least  you imagine at some moment how would it be to be with me instead of being with her.


I've been building dreams with you for years, and it hurts a lot to see all them falling apart.
It feels like life has been taken from me.

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life… you give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like “maybe we should be just friends” turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.

"Love is giving someone the power to destroy you and trusting thatthey won't."

A mulher de Gêmeos

Não muda de personalidade. Ela apenas mostra todas as mulheres que vivem dentro dela.

Quem conhece uma mulher de gêmeos sabe que é muito difícil ver a mesma pessoa por muito tempo. Suas fotos nunca parecem ser da mesma pessoa e suas mudanças de comportamento deixam qualquer um sem saber se acabam de conhecer uma nova mulher ou se ainda está falando com uma velha amiga! Sim, o signo de Gêmeos é o signo da mutação, de todos aqueles que gostam de mudar, experimentar e ultrapassar horizontes. Se existe algo que pode matar esta mulher é a monotonia. Como um camaleão ela vai assumindo várias formas, encantando e intrigando os homens. Ao contrário do que possa parecer, seu jeito misterioso consegue agradar a muitos homens que acabam ficando apaixonados.

As vezes ela pode ser tão volúvel e imprevisível, que se deixará encantar pelo sorriso ou pelo olhar de uma nova paixão para, logo depois, começar a critica-lo com a mesma intensidade. Então, o homem que antes era maravilhoso, vai se tornar tão cheio de defeitos que ela se perguntará como foi capaz de se apaixonar por alguém assim?

Esta capacidade que ela tem para se apaixonar e se desiludir logo em seguida pode partir muitos corações até que tenha certeza de que realmente acabou de conhecer o homem de sua vida. Bem, para falar a verdade, é ele que vai ter que convence-la de que é o homem de sua vida! Se deixar para ela a tarefa de analisa-lo, pode ter uma tremenda decepção! E a melhor maneira de conquista-la é sendo sempre a mesma pessoa. Ela aprecia mudanças em sua vida na sua personalidade e adora experimentar novas sensações. Mas quer um homem bem previsível ao seu lado. Previsível, mas nunca passivo!

Seu temperamento faz com que aceite as mudanças com mais facilidade que as outras mulheres, desde que não esteja relacionado com o comportamento de seu parceiro.

Para ela é difícil entregar-se a uma pessoa sem enfrentar suas dúvidas.

Sabem aqueles desenhos onde alguém é atormentado por um anjinho e um diabinho que ficam dando opiniões sobre o que é melhor fazer? Pois é mais ou menos assim que funciona a mente desta mulher. Sua dualidade sempre estará analisando os prós e contras de todos os relacionamentos. Aquele homem carinhoso e romântico será capaz de ganhar o suficiente para sustentar a casa? E aquele homem que ganha dinheiro como ninguém, não será um tanto frio para confortar seu coração quando estiver carente?

Tirando o amor e o romance que costumam atormenta-la com a idéia de perder sua liberdade, nas outras coisas ela é bem direta e não costuma fazer rodeios!

Mas não se preocupe, ela vai acabar fazendo sempre a melhor escolha do momento.

Se algum dia ela descobrir que a melhor escolha que fez acabou se tornando um pesadelo, não pensará duas vezes em largar tudo para recomeçar do zero! A mulher de gêmeos não se prende muito aos seus erros se descobrir que fez uma escolha errada! Ela vai aprender com a experiência e dificilmente vai repetir os mesmos erros!

Normalmente ela é uma companheira animada, agradável e alegre.

Tirando suas fases azedas que fazem com que fique insuportável com seu cinismo e língua afiada, seu outro lado romântico e aventureiro faz com que tenhamos a sensação de que estamos diante de uma grande amiga ao invés de uma namorada. Ela acompanhará o namorado em tudo que fizer, desde uma escalada em uma montanha até uma aventura na África! Para ela não existe esta coisa de separar as atividades entre feminina e masculina, quando esta apaixonada. Para onde ele for, ela estará ao seu lado!

A geminiana pode estar apaixonada, mas dificilmente deixará de achar outros homens atraentes.

Também costuma ser muito criativa quando o assunto é amor. Curiosa e com uma imaginação fértil, ela é ótima para apimentar relacionamentos. Sua imaginação se revelará quando sua curiosidade for excitada por uma nova descoberta. Para ela não basta ouvir palavras carinhosas e juras de amor. O verdadeiro amante deve agradar seus ouvidos com palavras dóceis, mas não pode se esquecer de surpreende-la na hora do sexo! Lembrem-se que ela detesta monotonia.

A geminiana costuma associar sexo com amor como ninguém. Sua mente não consegue entender como alguém pode ama-la sem fazer com que suba pelas paredes!

Ela jamais tomará um ônibus se pode ir de avião. Jamais ficará calada se puder falar. E jamais andará quando puder correr. Por isso nunca vai se contentar com o mínimo em um relacionamento quando pode ter muito mais.

Apesar de muitas vezes parecer fria e distante, ela deseja ser amada e mimada. Mostre que sempre estará ao seu lado, apesar de suas crises de mau-humor, e terá uma mulher que se entregará por inteira. Aliás, o melhor remédio contra o mau-humor da geminiana é sempre demonstrar amor! Não há chatice que dure muito tempo!

Conheça o perfil feminino de cada signo.

Plateia

Talvez eu nunca entenda o real sentido das borboletas no estômago, da boca seca e joelhos frágeis. Ou talvez nunca seja a palavra mais ridícula do dicionário; e eu sei do poder que as palavras exercem sobre mim.
A verdade é que sempre me esquivei de qualquer pequena possibilidade. Sempre tive medo de gostar e ser deixada. Porque veja bem, de primeiras impressões o mundo está cheio. E logo meu primeiro coraçãozinho na agenda, ficou partido quando menos se esperava. Eu tive todos os motivos pra acreditar num sentimento que logo se foi; e foi sem me levar.
Cansei de ouvir que eu não me deixo levar, que eu não me abro e não dou espaço. Disso eu sei. Eu só queria ter aprendido no colégio como mudar os defeitos que vêm na fabricação. Minha frieza de visão só me faz ver defeitos e faltas. Eu não sinto. Eu não me abalo. Eu sei o que vai acontecer e não me surpreendo. Eu acho graça do esforço e da boa vontade, mas isso é muito triste pra mim. É como se eu me assistisse de fora o tempo todo, tendo consciência de cada passo, cada sorriso, cada palavra. É como se eu fosse plateia da minha própria solidão. Se ao menos eu pudesse ter a certeza de que isso um dia vai mudar...
Sinto falta e medo. Talvez nunca ame, talvez seja nova demais pra dizer isso. Quero o frio na barriga, a emoção de primeiros encontros. Quero escrever mais que palavras de desculpas, textos sobres finais sem final; quero mais que arrumar coragem pra terminar. Quero coragem pra começar.

- Verônica H.

Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)

Another turning point

A fork stuck in the road

Time grabs you by the wrist

Directs you where to go

So make the best of this test

And don't ask why

It's not a question

But a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable

But in the end is right

I hope you had the time of your life

So take the photographs

And still frames in your mind

Hang it on a shelf

Of good health and good time

Tattoos of memories

And dead skin on trial

For what it's worth

It was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable

But in the end is right

I hope you had the time of your life

It's something unpredictable

But in the end is right

I hope you had the time of your life

It's something unpredictable

But in the end is right

I hope you had the time of your life

O Tempo de Sua Vida

Outro momento decisivo

Uma bifurcação cravada na estrada

O tempo te agarra pelo pulso e

Te mostra aonde ir

Então, dê o seu melhor nesse teste

E não pergunte o porquê

Essa não é uma pergunta,

Mas uma lição aprendida com o tempo

É algo imprevisível

Mas no final é certo

Espero que você tenha curtido o tempo de sua vida

Então pegue as fotografias

E as imagens estáticas na sua mente

Coloque-as na prateleira

Da boa saúde e dos bons tempos

Tatuagens de memórias

E pele morta em julgamento

Se o que digo é válido

Valeu a pena durante todo o tempo

É algo imprevisível

Mas no final é certo

Espero que você tenha o tempo de sua vida.

I miss you.

Missing someone is when you’re lying awake at night and wishing they were there with you to make you feel okay again, or when you hear a song that you want them to listen to, or when you’re doing something and thinking about how much more fun it would be if that person were there with you. That’s what I feel every day. I know you’re worth the wait but that wait sucks. I can’t promise you that we’ll be happy 24/7 but I do promise that I’ll do my best to make everyday best for you. I can’t say you’ll love everything about me but I’m willing to do my best to improve. Remember no matter what happens I have you, that’s all I could ever want. I want to be the one that makes you smile. I want to be the one that sends you good morning and goodnight texts. The one that you can tell anything to. I want to be the one that you can cry to and know I’ll comfort you. The one that you trust so much that you know even if I get mad I’ll still welcome you with open arms. The one that you get into silly arguments with, but in the end we make up because we realize how ridiculous we were acting. I want to be the one that you get all excited for when you see my name pop up online. I want to be the one that you giggle for whenever you read my texts. I want to be the one that does corny little things for you even if they are extremely embarrassing. I want to be the one to jokingly use ridiculous pick up lines on you. I want to be the best friend that you tell everything to. I want to be the one that gives you sweet kisses and the one that keeps you company when nobody else will. But most of all I want to just be there, next to your side.

"Vamos, não chores. A infância está perdida, a mocidade está perdida. Mas a vida não se perdeu. O primeiro amor passou, o segundo amor passou, o terceiro amor passou. Mas o coração continua. Perdeste o melhor amigo, não tentaste qualquer viagem, não possuis carro, navio, terra. Mas tens um cão. Algumas palavras duras, em voz mansa, te golpearam. Nunca, nunca cicatrizam. Mas, e o humor? A injustiça não se resolve. À sombra do mundo errado murmuraste um protesto tímido. Mas virão outros. Tudo somado, devias precipitar-te, de vez, nas águas. Estás nu na areia, no vento… Dorme, meu filho."

- Carlos Drummond de Andrade.

Keep Life Beautiful

''Crying does not solve,
Talking a little is due,
Learning to put yourself first is not selfishess,
What does not kill surely strengthens,
Sometimes change is needed but be clear that you can not change anyone's behaviour,
Changing comes from within.
Not everything will be as you want and life goes on.For any choice comes a consequence, ephemeral desires are not worth it, who does once not necessarily does twice, but who does ten, certainly does eleven.Once you do something that someone did not expect you, she / he will never look at you the same way.
Forgiveness is noble but it is almost impossible to forget.
The discreet always gets more attention,
Not everyone is so cool,
and close,
no one is normal.
All love is great when you make it important.
Who deserve you does not make you cry,
Who likes you cares about and what is in the past has no reason to be part of your present. You may be the best thing that can happen to someone,
Do not have to lose to learn to value, and friends still count on the fingers.
Gradually you realize what it's worth,
What to keep for life and that should never have entered it.
The time is always the best medicine, but their results are not always immediate,
There is no way to hide the truth nor does it bury the past.

"Chorar não resolve, falar pouco é uma virtude, aprender a se colocar em primeiro lugar não é egoísmo, e o que não mata com certeza fortalece. Às vezes mudar é preciso, nem tudo vai ser como você quer, a vida continua. Pra qualquer escolha se segue alguma conseqüência, vontades efêmeras não valem a pena, quem faz uma vez não faz duas necessariamente, mas quem faz dez, com certeza faz onze.

Perdoar é nobre, esquecer é quase impossível. Nem todo mundo é tão legal assim, e de perto ninguém é normal. Quem te merece não te faz chorar, quem gosta cuida, o que está no passado tem motivos para não fazer parte do seu presente, não é preciso perder pra aprender a dar valor e os amigos ainda se contam nos dedos.

Aos poucos você percebe o que vale a pena, o que se deve guardar pro resto da vida, e o que nunca deveria ter entrado nela."

Charles Chaplin